why oh why

why do I constantly check up on her...why do i wonder if shes ok....why can't i move past this...why can't i get over the fact that i'm not for her...why can't I be the man i should be.....why do I feel the need to be loved....why do i have morals....why do i require so damn much affection....why did I put myself in this situation....why do i feel stagnant....why do I want to start crying again...why do i want to tear my wall down again....why do i feel so vulnerable....why can't you just tell me the truth....why couldn't you tell me before...why do i still love you so much....why can't i get you off my head...why does it feel like you are pulling my chain....why do I enjoy talking to you even when you lie through your teeth....why do I want to take your money and shove it up your ass....why do I want to create havoc....why do i want to start fresh...why do i want to move to texas...why do i want to leave what i have here....why do i want to bring everything i have here with me...why do i feel the need to hold someone....why do i need to hug someone....why do i miss your touch on my lips...why oh why