The Right Light?

Is the light I'm seeing the right one? Am I seeing the one that isn't miscued or isn't a temporary one? If I follow the light how do I know that it won't go out? How do I know that if the light shines will it shine too brightly and blind me? How do I know if I won't go in reverse just to get back to the light? How do I know if this is just a move of desperation? How can I be sure that I won't be even more pushed down? What would happen if it happened? What if it has already begun? What if my pain is just a sign of something good to come? What if I'm not working hard enough? What if I could be doing more? Does everyone ask these questions? Does anyone else just wonder? Does anyone wonder where it went wrong? Does anyone wonder if they caused it to become sour? Does anyone wonder what if? What if I was a better person? What if I could keep things together? What if I could keep thigns to myself? What if I could be selfless? What if I could make someone else's world perfect? What if I never stop? What if things get worse? What if the life I've screwed up if the one I care for more than my own? What if my heart never repaired? What if my scotch tape came undone? What if I could have come up with a better metaphore? What if I wasn't so damn poetic? What if everything I did made something good instead of the other one? What if I cry to feel better? What if that doesn't work? What if I'm thinking too deeply? What if I stopped asking what if?